Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
