Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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