Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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