Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
