5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
