I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Im part way to drunk.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
