it's not cheating when I paid for it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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