I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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