great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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