Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
