Acid is not a monday night drug
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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