im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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