i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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