walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize