i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
