So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
