called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
