I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
