I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
