Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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