Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
