did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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