if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize