Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
