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Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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