It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
...so i touched it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
