I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
