Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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