The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
