Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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