hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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