let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
