Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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