Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
