He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
