That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
