this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize