he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
