he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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