Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
