need another drink. this is the easiest way
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
