Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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