i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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