Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
