you would pick up someone in the library
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
