Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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