Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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