My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
