Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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