i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize