It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
