I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize