i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
