Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
True strength comes from lack of pants
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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