i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't deserve a penis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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