I hate your face
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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