redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
