Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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