do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
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