Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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