i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
