I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize