What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
