walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
