definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
