well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize