Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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