U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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