omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
