I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
where are my eyebrows?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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